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Net Classic Funny Quotes

Time: 2017-08-07 18:53 Source: Quotations Daquan Click: Times
1. I was thin before and thin in the future, so I will gain weight now for a while, otherwise my life will not be complete.
2. "I really like your avatar" "Why bring the back two characters".
3. The terrible summer is coming. If anyone can install an air conditioner in our classroom, we will marry the class teacher to him.
4. Don't propose to me, I will promise as soon as I propose.
5. Three wishes in life: one is to eat well, the other is to sleep, and the third is to laugh.
6. I am in rivers and lakes, but rivers and lakes have no legend about me.
7. The problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.
8. The chicken's resistance is to make its meat unpalatable.
9. My greatest skill is to use cheap things to make expensive effects. Such as camera, microphone, yourself.
10. Listen to Jun's words and hang the Southeast Branch.
11. I used to believe that I could make my life a slogan, but now I just don't want to make it a case.
12. No news can be believed until it has been officially denied.
13. "If your wife and your lover fell into the water at the same time, would you like to find another plump or petite?"
14. The population of this population is heavy, and it is planned to ban cola and switch to drinking syrup.
15. Are you okay, what am I doing? Do n’t you know I am busy?
16. Don't use me as a good man, otherwise I will count.
17. The fortune teller said that when I was eighty, I would meet a woman who was important in my life. Her name was Meng Po.
18. Don't ask me what I am missing, I am missing an object now.
19. I'm in a bad mood today. I just want to say four sentences, including the first two sentences. I'm finished.
20. I saw a couple on the road. So I ran over and said to the boy paper: Brother, this sister today is not as beautiful as yesterday ...
21. A pair of men and women are intimate. The man is very hard, but the woman has no response. The man asked angrily: "Can't you reflect a little? Even the bed won't call!" The woman yelled after hearing it. : "Bed !!! Bed!"
22. Fortune teller and lady dialogue: "You have a bad life." "Why?" "Because you have a bad omen." "Will I take off my bra?" "No, as soon as you take off the bad omen, you will There are two big waves of life.
23. The emperor and the court officials asked for something, and urged the emperor to push the court officials into the cold palace. The court officials could not bear the birds anymore, and the weather was too hot.
24. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.
25, thousands of mountains and mountains are always in love, can you give points? There is true love in the world, giving a perfect score is also love!
26. If marriage is the grave of love, then the blind date is to watch feng shui for the grave, confession is self-digging the grave, marriage is both love, empathy is moving the grave, and the third is grave robbing!
27. When I was in class, I always bowed my head. The teacher asked me why, and I answered calmly, thinking about my hometown!
28. You scold me because you don't know me enough, because those who know me want to hit me.
29. I come to school very early every day. It seems that I love learning, but several people know that we are here to copy homework.
30. What handsome boys who play football, handsome boys who play basketball, are farting. As long as you look handsome, you TM are good at playing glass balls, and playing ugly golf is like shoveling shit. All gentle girls are attractive, and girls who do not wear makeup are pure and fart. As long as you look beautiful, you TM say that tofu is a tofu shih tzu, and the ugly violin is like a cramp.
31, I TM see through this world!
32. Food is kind, because every day I just want to eat, and I do n’t have time to count others.
33. He told me to break up. I just wanted to talk back but he said he was wrong.
34. Except for Qingming Festival, Chinese people can treat all festivals as Valentine's Day!
35. I sometimes wonder if I can't get into your atrium because I'm too fat.
36. Every time I watch you eat pork, I feel so emotional. It was too urgent to fry with the roots.
37. Making her wife ugly again, and apologizing is useless, and she circled around the house angrily: "Huh! I'm going to buy an expensive thing!" As soon as I heard it, there was a turning point! Spend money on disaster relief! Immediately said, "Okay! I'll accompany you to buy." Then we went to the small commodity market and bought a washboard ...
38. I hate Qin Shihuang. He burned his book but didn't finish it.
39. Go to buy water. The boss said two pieces. I said the bottle has a suggested retail price of five. The boss said, "I don't accept his advice!"
40. God! If there is no way to make me thin! Just make my friends fat!
41. The girl made cola chicken wings for the boy. The boy took a bite and said it was delicious, and the girl took a bite and said, the liar was not cooked at all. The boy said softly, fool, I think everything you do is delicious. A few days later, boys and girls died of bird flu. This story tells us, show love, die fast!
42, the sky will be a big ambassador to Sri Lanka, he must first turn off his mobile phone, stop its traffic, steal his account, unplug his network cable, before he can bid farewell to study scum and become a school tyrant.
43. In the summer, bathing is like helping mosquitoes wash vegetables.
44. When you go out this summer, you are going into the oven, walking is hot, sitting down is teppanyaki, or don't rain, it will become boiled fish when it rains.
45. Suddenly found that Huo Qubing and Xin Qiji were names of couples.
46. Actually, I was tall before, but I often shrank after bathing.
47. In recent years, no early love, no meanness, no cheating, no rebellion, no homework, no mobile phone, no one believes that you are a student.
48. The teacher confiscated my game console. When I returned it to me at the end of the period, I found that all the games were cleared.
49. I think I should be more friendly to strangers, such as financial insurance, English training, study abroad services, love hotels, dating agencies, infertility product sales and survey questionnaires. I always answer patiently and patiently. Fill in the name and phone number of the ex-boyfriend.
50. Meat, meat, don't rush your legs or your chest if you have the ability!
51. Time is like a cleavage. If you squeeze it, there will always be it!
52. In my next life, I want to be a man and marry a woman like me.
53. The nature of parent-teacher conferences is the same as that of primary three, which destroys family harmony!
54. I once asked a courier brother what he was, and he said, "Tongtongtongtongtongtong, you know that I have delivered you half a year of courier. You actually asked me what it is. Yunda Yunda Yunyun Yunda Yunda La!"
55. I want to condense my life into a joke.
56. If no one in the world wants you in the future, you must remember that there is me, and I don't want you.
57. Going on a tour with your girlfriend, tired to rest under the tree. Suddenly a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face, and before I could react, my girlfriends helped me to smooth it out, and said, your sunscreen hasn't evened out.
58, "Uncle Police, my bag is lost" "Relax, wrap it on me" "Then return me!"
59. Don't get worse in debauchery, just pervert in silence.
60. Lonely is when someone is talking, nobody is listening, and when someone is listening, you have nothing to say!
61. What is more headache than meeting one shrew is ... meeting two shrews at the same time.
62. We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. It is often the small things that make us unhappy in life.
63. There is a person who only does two things: you succeed, he is jealous of you, you fail, he laughs at you.
64. Not afraid of buddies like God, but afraid of friends like dogs.
65. God has given us seven passions, but we have turned them into pornography and violence.
66, the hero does not ask the way out, the rogue does not look at the age!
67. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it takes only one bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.
68. You people, you people.
69. There is a tartar who is alive, he is dead. Some people are alive, he should have died.
70. What is loneliness? That's fifty dollars, but it took three months to finish it ... three months!
71. I have been listening to others saying how cool it is to open a room, and one day I can't help but open it ... It's really cool, it's so big to sleep alone in a bed!
72. It is said that this summer around the country is now mourning a guy named "Heat!"
73. During the lecture, the female teacher ’s pants zipper was opened. A girl stood up and reminded: Teacher, your door is not closed! The teacher waved his hand: regardless of it, the director was instructed to come and visit.
74. The morning after the wedding, the bride walked out of the cave in pain, holding the wall with one hand and covering her lower body with one hand, cursing: liar! What a liar! I said I had thirty years of savings before I got married. I thought it was money!
75. Treasure the person who is dark around you, because one day the coal mine car passes by, you may not see him anymore.
76. The head teacher's class, sleeping on the table at the same table, the head teacher was furious and gave me a wink. I immediately understood, and then took off my coat and put it on the same table in front of the eyes. A considerate head teacher!
77. Q: Have you ever cried for a woman? Answer: Crying. Q: Who? Answer: My mother, she was beaten so badly that she cried so much that her voice was dumb.
78. The electric fan is the best friend of mankind. I asked the electric fan if I am ugly? The fan shook his head silently all night.
79. "If my face was ancient, I could prop up the entire building!" "Do you mean you look like a pillar?"
80. A nephew of a neighbor's family, 4 years old this year, went to kindergarten, and lost stationery at school all day. That day his father got angry: "I lost it all day and didn't see you take it back ..." The next day, as soon as I got home, I poured a bunch of pencils and books on the sofa ...
81. Girlfriends have come to my house to eat rice in recent days, and they eat very little each time. I asked: "Why not eat more?" Girlfriend: "Every time I lose weight and can't control my mouth, , I just want to come to your house to have a meal. After all, no one cooks like you do, and you do n’t want to eat a second bite after you eat the first bite. ”I:“ You go out to me ... ”
82. Life is annoying, but fortunately I am cute.
83. Some people say that walking and playing with mobile phones are prone to car accidents, and I was scared to start running.
84. Sometimes if you don't work hard, you don't know what despair is.
85, "Why are you so short." "Because I've been mini!"
86. It is said that the chat ends in Hehe, I don't believe it. I sent a message to the male god yesterday saying: I really like you. He said: Hehe. I replied: Oh, Nima is a wall. So he scolded him for one night.
87, I kissed your face, it was all cream, bb cream, sunscreen, I feel like eating a lot of money.
88. "Do you mind if I have a small breast?" "Don't mind, I like the feeling of a sweetheart", "What do you mean", "play from childhood to age".
89. I met a junior high school female classmate in the restaurant, but she didn't remember me, so I reminded her, "Do you remember the boy who was punished because he kissed you in the woods?" She blushed, Some excitedly said, "Is that you ..." I smiled with shame: "Yes, I was the one who told the story!"
90. Just after being awakened, I heard a man in the community shouting: be killed, be killed, be beaten to death, reversed, reversed. This is the rhythm of something big! See what's going on, I quickly got up and ran to the window ... I'll go, a man directs his wife to back up!
91. My objects are very good, as well as me, and I am good to horses, rabbits, and dogs.
92. When men and women flirted, the most distinctive Chinese character was born: bump.
93. I knew he was not a good thing, or forgot to say it.
94. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!
95. The injustice of this world lies in: God said, "I want light!" So there is daylight. The beauty said, "I want a diamond ring!" So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said, "I want a woman!" So he had a woman. I said, "I want to take a bath!" The water stopped.
96. Since I became shit, no one has stepped on me.
97, boss, come with a bowl of tears.
98. A rich person is afraid that others will know that he is rich, and a rich person is afraid that others will know that he has no money.
99. Advertising is to tell others that his money can still be spent like this.
100, let the storm be more violent, anyway, I was selling umbrellas!

Article Title: Funny Quotes from the Internet Classics

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