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100 Funny Classic Shock Quotes

Time: 2018-04-25 19 : 35Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times
1. It takes tens of thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it takes only one bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.
2, the hero does not ask the way out, the rogue does not look at the age!
3. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!
4. When I grow up, marry Tang Seng as my husband. If you can play, you can play it. If you can't, you can eat him.
5, the exam is good, all rely on the same table.
6, it is boring to break up more, we have the ability to play divorce!
7, I am small-minded, but not lacking, I am good-tempered, but not not!
8, you still let me kneel and wash the board, kneeling electric heater can't stand it!
9. A woman likes two flowers in her life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!
10. Two crickets are living birds, and a pair of butterflies are poor insects.
11. A star can become more famous if he takes off a little, but the light that I took off is caught!
12. Ambiguous is that I asked you to borrow money. You did not say that you did not borrow, but did not say that you did not borrow, but only that your husband was not at home ...
13. As the saying goes: When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; when you cry, you alone cry in the whole world.
14. If I don't hit you, you won't know I'm both civil and military.
15. When I was particularly sleepy, my moral standards didn't wake up. Teachers should be careful.
16, stupid man + stupid woman = getting married; stupid man + stupid woman = divorce; smart man + stupid woman = extramarital affairs; smart man + smart woman = romantic love.
17. God said there should be light, and I said I was against it, so there was darkness in the world.
18. Brother is a civilized person. All swear words have been disinfected with saliva.
19. The face is something outside of you, whether you want it or not, money is necessary and you have to.
20. Geography teacher asks: What are the four oceans? I answer: Pleasant sheep, beautiful sheep, lazy sheep, boiling sheep and sheep
21. I'm so tired, I want to make a knife in the back of my head, and then slump on the ground and install a piggy bank.
22. When I saw the beauties, first I touched my pocket to see if I had any money!
23. If I were a princess, I would save a frog, but all I encountered were toads.
24. There are two reasons for failing to invite girls to play. One is that she is too lazy to wash her hair, and the other is that your invitation is not worth her hair.
25. Poor Nike, Rich Adi, and rogue Armani.
26. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's uncle ...
27. When I went to bed, I was like a beast. Specifically, I was like a koala, and I slept for 18 hours.
28. You have hands and feet for mosquitoes, why not find a job to live properly.
29. Whoever said that I was white, thin and beautiful, I would be a good friend of him.
30. The teacher said that snacks are not allowed in class. Fortunately, I brought hot pot today.
31. Some people say that I don't want to be shameless. This is simply nonsense. I can't bear to be so handsome.
32. Save the farts and donate them to those who are dissatisfied with me.
33. In such a cold day, in such a cold day, a single dog may be upgraded to a smashing ice.
34. People have dark sides. If you say that you are simple, then I can only say that you are not human!
35. Sometimes, except the lies are true, everything else is false!
36. Playing in the water, it's fucking drowned; Bi Yishuangfei, it's all fucking dead!
37. There is no one behind, arrogance is my nature.
38. For someone like you, I can make you live up to two episodes in a series I direct.
39, I have been more and more troubled recently! The boring world, heaven, please give me a death, and I will sleep quietly!
40. You are so fond of talking about the wind, are you born of wind oil essence and cool oil?
41. In this embarrassing season, a short-sleeved one and a cotton-padded jacket passed by each other, and they said silly to each other.
42. God gave us all passions, but we turned them into pornography and violence.
43. I don't like the girl named Jenny. I like the girl named Mani!
44. You don't take me seriously, I'm sorry, I didn't treat you as a person, I tell you, don't force me on this.
45. If the sky is old and the sky is old, my brother will be brought down!
46. Don't say anything sensational, we will smash the bottle back to each of us later.
47. I won't bend over when I drop banknotes in the sky, because the sky won't even drop pies, let alone the banknotes.
48, exercise muscles and prevent suffocation!
49. If replies are a virtue, then I have long been a saint.
50, Lei Feng did a good job without leaving a name, but everything is recorded in the diary.
51. Drinking a pound of white wine, I absolutely don't feel it, because drinking half a catty has already drunk.
52. Sometimes it rains because the world needs to be washed, and sometimes it rains because the heart needs to be washed.
53. It's not that you don't roll, but that I'm not hard enough.
54. The teacher wanted to say to the students that he would give applause to himself, but he accidentally said that he would give him a slap. After speaking, a classmate slapped him.
55. No matter how complicated the test questions are, after all, it is not as complicated as me.
56. Who says water and fire are ruthless, when you are about to be drowned by saliva, you are angry.
57. The sweat on the eyebrows and the tears under the eyebrows must be the same.
58. Thoughts are like underwear. You must have them, but you cannot prove that you have them.
59. Why are you sitting there looking like an envelope without an address?
60. Everyone said that I was ugly, in fact, I was just not obvious.
61. Love is like a fart, with a high-key start and a low-key end.
62, you are the song in my heart, always make me thrilling.
63. Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple IQ.
64. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but humans are sometimes not humans!
65. I will study hard next semester and abuse those who are in front of me.
66. The question does not have to be done, but the scrolling sound must be loud.
67. If love can be controlled by myself, I will surely hold my heart to eat.
68. It is said that this is the state of food cravings: enjoyment in the mouth, and want to lose weight in the heart.
69. I'm not so good to you, because you may have been my pet pig.
70. My mother asked me why I hadn't bathed in the bathroom for so long, and I didn't dare tell her that I was fascinated by myself while passing the mirror.
71. I like you just like I like the sea, but I can't go to the sea, I can go to Shanghai.
72, you are always, intermittently full of ambition, continuous mixed eating waiting to die, planning for a day, lying dead for a year.
73. Dear, you must believe me, I am dizzy even on a boat, let alone two boats.
74. People like spring winds and hate cold winds. In fact, cold winds are innocent, and the temperature is making them worse!
75. The computer is the anger's microphone, and it spreads our curses late at night!
76. Not afraid of long distances, short of ambition, slowness, or standing constantly; not afraid of poverty, laziness, fear of opponents, and fear of shaking.
77. The direction of the headwind is more suitable for flying. I am not afraid of 10,000 people blocking, I am afraid of surrendering myself.
78. Do you want to die or do you not want to live?
79. Without passion, love will not burn, without friendship, friends will not fill up, without pride, the goal will be difficult to achieve, without mood, things will be difficult to accomplish.
80. Adhere to principles in big things, and learn to adapt to small things.
81. When going out, his wife had an explanation. He could not sit in the first row by car. He could not stand up when he was in the car. Do n’t drink his stomach when drinking alcohol.
82. To say that someone's brain is sick, the premise of the brain's illness is to have a brain.
83. Making girls into women is the most basic responsibility and obligation as a man.
84. Women do not matter decent, decent because they are not seduced enough, men do not care about loyalty, loyalty is because the bargaining chip is too low.
85, you, you, this little fairy, made me poison your love but hesitated to give me a cure! Little bad guy! Oh, I'm going to die! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!
86. Love without feeling pain is not true love, and marriage without feeling happiness must be sad marriage.
87. A beauty said: The person who held my hand for the first time was the gentleman who showed me palms.
88. Sleeping next to the printer, can you print out all night dreams?
89. Fasten your seat belt. There may be a love waiting for you.
90. Xiaoming: "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Daddy: "Stupid child, how can you be a stupid child?"
91. Life is like a journey, it doesn't care about the destination. It's the "NB" along the way, and the mood when dealing with "NB"!
92. Standing on the shore of the years, let's float to your past ...
93, gentleman revenge, no later than ten years, villains revenge, from morning to night.
94. Heaven will not fall into the trap, it will only fall into the trap.
95. White plus white is black, because double negation is affirmation.
96. My feelings for you are like Lei Feng's pity for the poor.
97. In fact, when a person is alive, they are a body, and when they die, they become a pile of ashes.
98. My heart for you is harder than diamonds. Will it not be heart stones?
99. When you are nervous, it is as surprising as a pig on a tree.
100, just like me, so bright. Like you, I look down!

Article Title: 100 Funny Funny Quotes

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