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100 humorous and funny chat topics

Time: 2018-03-20 20:33 Source: Quotations Daquan Click: times
1. Believe me, I will make you the second happiest person in the world.
Why not first?
With you, I am the happiest person!
2. May I ask you for directions?
Get there?
To your heart.
3. I have a toothache recently.
why?
Because I often miss you at night, it feels so sweet and fangs.
4. Can I borrow a dollar from you?
why?
I want to call and tell my mom that I just met my dream lover. You can also say: I want to call your mother to thank her.
5. Is your father a thief?
No.
How can he steal the bright stars and put them in your eyes?
6. Your legs must be tired, right?
why?
Because you ran all day in my mind.
7. Look at her clothes tag. When she says what you are doing,
Answer: Just see if you made it in heaven?
8. I hope you will get CPR.
why?
Because you are so beautiful that I stop breathing.
9. Miss, please return it to me!
what!
My heart, you took it away with your eyes!
10. There must be something wrong with my eyes.
why?
I can't look away from you.
11. I'm having a hard time today.
What should I do?
Seeing a pretty girl smile makes me feel better, can you smile for me?
12. If the alphabet can be rearranged, I will put U and I together.
why?
Because I want you to be with me.
13. Why keep looking at me?
Sorry, I'm an artist, staring at beautiful women is my job.
14. No one will like me.
Hello, my name is nobody.
15. It's raining today.
Yeah yeah!
That's because God drools at you.
16. Like someone to speak up.
come out!
17. "I think you must be busy right now, so I decided to send this text message."
"Not busy, why do you say that?"
"Because I want to send the first three words of the previous one."
18. I'm sleeping!
Ok.
Would you still like me after waking up?
I don't like it.
Then I won't sleep.
19. What if someone chases me?
I tripped him!
20. Why are you touching my hand?
I just want to know if the shower gel you use often works well.
21. I am in love with a woman.
She must be pretty!
You are too narcissistic.
22. M: I believe I will appear at your table sooner or later.
Woman: Are you going to deliver?
23. M: In front of you, I will always be wrong.
Woman: Actually, this is not the case. I thought in front of you, I was always right!
24. Female: Dear Dear, you look so beautiful!
M: Dear Dear, I think you are narcissistic!
Woman: Nima, go under the rolling bed for me!
25. Female: Are you there?
Man: I'm everywhere!
26. Female: faint
Man: Come, faint into my arms, Comeonbaby!
27. Female: Oh; what's your name?
Man: I didn't call it, did you mean me?
28. Female: I'm asking your name.
M: Oh yeah ~ My name is Nangong, Peng You, or Nan Peng You!
29. Female: Take advantage of me again.
Man: You're not in the market. Why should I take advantage of you?
30. Female: Oh, you are so humorous!
Man: Everyone says that!
31. Female: You're not modest.
Man: Wrong! I am not hypocritical!
32. Female: Hello narcissistic!
Man: Wrong! I am confident!
33. Female: I served you.
M: I'm 60 kilos. Do you go in?
34. Female: How old are you?
Man: I ca n’t describe it, it's burly!
35. Female: How old are you?
M: Two for two, four forty-six, sixteen plus eight minus four?
Female: Twenty
Man: The answer is correct, but unfortunately there is no prize.
36. M: How old are you?
Woman: I'm eighteen.
M: Eighteen is so good!
Woman: Why do you see it?
M: They all say eighteen, eighteen flowers!
Woman: So what?
Man: How dare I pick you?
Woman: I'm a barbed rose, aren't you afraid?
M: I can't type the word pa.
37. Female: Where are you from?
M: Central Plains.
Woman: Um, where is the Central Plains?
M: Ashamed, there is no place for home in Xiasihai!
38. Female: Is it true or false?
Man: With your wisdom, did I coax you?
39. Q: Can the Dragon Girl not see Yang Guo for 7 years, can you?
Answer: I can never see Yang Guo in my whole life.
40. Q: Four words describe your driving level.
Answer: The traffic police are silent.
41. Q: A person says to you "I eat more salt than you eat !!!" What does it mean?
Answer: mouth weight
42. Q: What is the biggest feeling after watching Beast Beast Video?
Answer: The phone is too bad.
43. Q: A man on the bus stepped on your foot and said "I am Jay Chou" to you. What is your reaction?
Answer: Step back. I can show off in the future, I stepped on Jay Chou!
44. Q: Do you care?
A: People used to ask me with an exclamation mark.
45. Ask: "Go to the blind date, the woman on the other side grinned, and a thick powder fell on my face. What should I do?" ...
A: "You are so kind. You will be given food when you meet for the first time."
46. Q: If you read a book in the library and you are infatuated, the opposite sex touches you three times with your feet, will you?
Answer: Stop.
47. Q: Both couples are on QQ, but the two have not spoken for 10 minutes. What does that mean?
Answer: The boss is beside.
48. Q: I'll give you 1200 yuan. What kind of car should I buy?
Answer: Buy a chess game. There are four cars! There are also four BMWs.
49. Q: A pet that has been in existence for 10 years and a lover who has been dating for one week must discard one. What do you choose?
Answer: Discard your pet and give it to your lover.
50. Q: What kind of car is the coolest to get married?
Answer: Bugatti Veyron opened the road, Aston Martin cameras, Zeppelin DS8 escort, the bride and groom ride donkeys.
51. Q: When the lover / husband suddenly hugged you from falling asleep and said "I like you, do you like me?"
Answer: Don't wake him up and ask softly, "What's my name? ..."
52. Q: Say 1 flower at the same time, see who has a tacit understanding with me ~~
Answer: 1 flower
53. Q: One man and one woman stayed all night and did nothing! Do you believe it?
Answer: I believe. It's all wet, not dry.
54. Q: When the blind date, the woman said to you: What kind of blind date do you have without a house or car? How do you answer
A: Compassion is here.
55. Chased you for five years, marry me, right?
No, you must be so ugly.
How could it be that I was so poor.
56. Female: The first time I saw my parents, what are you going to send?
Man: Of course, you have to give a big gift!
Woman: Wow! What gift do you give!
Male: Grandson or granddaughter.
57. Q: Why is Yang Xiao tired of him when he has no car?
Answer: Who says there is no car? He has been using the engraving!
58. Q: At 10 pm, a female colleague sent a message saying 'My husband is not here'. !! !! ? ? ?
Answer: I will be coming soon ...
59. Q: If someone asks, can I chase you? How to answer better? ?
Answer: Why chase me? I'm not anxious syrup. . .
60. Q: You live alone on a deserted island, your cell phone has no signal, and suddenly you can call.
A: China Mobile, complain about them! Why is the signal so bad!
61. Q: In truth, if you are a man, do you want to have a bunch of women like ***?
Answer: I want to be a woman with a bunch of *** ...
62. Q: Give you 100 million, let you jump down from the second floor, are you willing to cut?
Answer: Please pile 100 million downstairs first, I will jump up immediately.
63. Q: After breaking up, one party said, "I won't walk into others anymore." Do you believe it?
Answer: Not in the heart, but in the body.
64. Q: What do you think is the most worthy quality in your body?
Answer: You will be wrong.
65. Q: In the evening, I was taking a bath. Suddenly, I found that I had an extra hand to help you bath! you. . .
A: Secretly snags its watch and ring.
66. Q: What do white sheets, white quilts, white pillows, and white slippers mean?
Answer: Doctor Bai, I want you to be white
67. Q: Boys send more than 100 text messages to girls every day, but there are very few calls, what do they mean?
Answer: He ordered a monthly package
68. Q: My brother pulled his pants-hit two celebrities in American politics!
Answer: O! Dad, mom! Sari!
69. Q: If someone looks at your photo and says "So ugly ~". . . . .
A: It's better than saying 'What a cute monkey'
70. So many people despise me, how old are you?
(When a beauty despises your rogue, hooligan, treacherous, and indecent ~)
71. I don't even say that you are killed, you haven't made a beauty look!
(Brothers, are there any beautiful women asking you questions that you are not convenient to say ~ It is also good for girlfriends, for flirting)
72. I'm not only lucky, but also good at my athlete's foot!
(Hehe laughs when you are lucky)
73. Force me again, and force me to pretend to show you!
(Can be used when beauties repeatedly ask you idiot questions)
74. Q: What is the most powerful weapon you have ever taken?
Answer: TT. (Kill billions of people)
75. Q: Use four words to describe your appearance!
Answer: Not to mention
76. Q: You only have 2 yuan in your pocket, how to solve the three meals? ? ?
Answer: Buy a broken bowl and squat on the street
77. Q: I found a body in the garden where I bought a house. What should I do? Do you want to call the police
Answer: Continue to dig, there are soldiers and horse servants below
78. Q: Say the most cruel way to abuse yourself?
Answer: One person eats the KFC family bucket
79. Q: Give you 1W, let you go to the gate of the community and shout 3 times: "Sister Furong I love you", what are you doing?
Answer: You can "yell" but not "do".
80. Can't reach it, try stepping on your right foot with your left foot
(Fighting love lover short, joking girls petite, piss you ~)
81. Some people are alive, she is dead. Some people are alive, he should have died!
(Angry can also be humorous ~)
82. You said ... do you like me? Actually ... I started ... Actually, I also ... I told you, in fact, I really like my own.
(Is it difficult to confess? Ambiguous? It is not difficult to know what to say. Success is an art)
83. Qingshan is still there, but it is a bit red.
(Hungry, that, remembering how red is ruthless ~)
84. Do you drink water, or water, or water? You choose!
(Are you a collector, a collector, or a collector? It's your choice!)
85. Not only do I have a car, I also do it myself!
(For the best of gold worshippers ~ I don't like gold worship)
86. Generally speaking, her husband is thin, either his wife has too much desire or his wife is too picky. I wish I was thin because of the first item.
(Usually, I'm so skinny, but you like to buy us food so much, wife, you say, why are we skinny?)
87. As long as a person looks good, no matter what he does, everyone thinks that Belle is reasonable and Belle is normal. You see, I didn't see anyone streaking at first ~
(Actually, none of our handsome guys see us streaking ...)
88. "Let me test your IQ first. How many is one plus one?"
He immediately responded to me. The child responded very quickly. His answer was spit in my face. !!
(You see how clever our relatives ’children are, but fortunately, they didn't spill my face.)
89. Oriental Pearl: The penis in Shanghai looks very majestic, but ... why are these testicles above and below? deformity?
(Use with caution ...)
90. There is a P for handsome? Maybe it wasn't eaten by the soldier!
(A woman tells you, "That man is so handsome," "Is that star so handsome?" A word strangled her)
91. You do n’t have to worry about giving it to me, there is nothing wrong with it!
(Hey ~ Did your girlfriend tell you to buy something? Did you ask for help? Say this to help her do a good job, is it better?)
92. Don't be nervous, I'm not a good person ... (Is it difficult to meet? Believe me!)
93. As long as you have an egg, we will immediately break it down and never let the principal and parents know! (Bedside flirt joke)
94. Do n’t thank, how can you still feel sorry for collecting money from you after you thank you!
(When you help MM or do something that is grateful to her ~ Hehe, strangle her, be careful of pink boxing)
95. Do you still eat fried food? Look at the acne on your face! It's almost even backgammon!
(Hey buddy, suppression is the taste ~)
96. Youthful and brilliant on the outside and tattered on the inside.
(We are the same kind of people, with a youthful appearance and a shabby heart ...)
97. Do you know how to doodle? I often go to graffiti in the dark. I paint it when nobody is there: apply for a permit: 139 …………
(... so please tell me the number, our graffiti technology is first class ~)
98. M: I do n’t understand why you can see handsome guys, but I ca n’t appreciate beautiful women?
Woman: I admire handsome guys for watching beautiful things, and yours is the thought that satisfies my heart.
99. "Be careful" I said while pulling her.
She looked at me and asked in confusion "What's wrong? What did you pull me for?"
"There is an ant, don't knock you over."
(A personal hand-in-hand convention ~)
100. Female: Men can't get used to it, the more they get used to the asshole!
Man: Women cannot be petted, the more pets there are, the more seeds!

Article title: 100 humorous and funny chat topics

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