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Funny sentences

Time: 2018-08-20 21 : 06Source : Quotations Daquan Click: times
1. A person cannot lower his noble head, except when picking up money.
2. When I was a kid, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, and when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.
3. If my friend can betray five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.
4. I only believe two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.
5. The call fee for overdraft of 900,000 yuan was sentenced to three years, the ATM was maliciously withdrawn for 170 thousand yuan, and tens of millions were sentenced to 10 years.
6. We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. It is often the small things that make us unhappy in life.
7. There is a person who only does two things: you succeed, he is jealous of you, you fail, he laughs at you.
8. Brothers who are not afraid of God, friends who are like dogs.
9. God gave us all passions, but we turned them into pornography and violence.
10. Heroes don't ask the way out, rogues don't look at the age!
11. It takes tens of thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and it takes only one bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.
12. You people, you people.
13. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!
14. The injustice of this world lies in: God said, "I want light!" So there is daylight. The beauty said, "I want a diamond ring!" So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said, "I want a woman!" So he had a woman. I said, "I want to take a bath!" The water stopped.
15. Since I became shit, no one has stepped on me.
16. Boss, come with a bowl of tears.
17. A rich person is afraid that others will know that he is rich, and a rich person is afraid that others will know that he has no money.
18. Have you seen the Water Margin? The story of the four monks and apprentices from Tang Dynasty being forced to Liangshan by Jia Baoyu.
19. Sometimes the explanation is unnecessary. The enemy does not believe your explanation. Friends do not need your explanation.
20. We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to see gold as dung!
21. The terrible summer is coming. If anyone can install an air conditioner in our classroom, we will marry him.
22. Don't propose to me, I will promise as soon as I propose.
23. Three wishes in life: one is to eat well, the other is to sleep, and the third is to laugh.
24. I am in rivers and lakes, but rivers and lakes have no legend about me.
25. The disadvantage is that it is very convenient for others to pick you up.
26. Don't squeeze the world out of the way, it's hard to be cheap for others, why not?
27. Grandpa is not your little raccoon.
28. Everyone is a prisoner, and the phone number is the number.
29. If Destiny grabs Throat's throat, Thousands scratch Fate's armpit.
30. My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare!
31. When men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: bump.
32. I knew he was not a good thing, or forgot to say it.
33. Let the storm be more violent, anyway, I was selling umbrellas!
34. Mrs. Master, you will be the old man! … Long, long time later ... Master, you can spare the old man!
35. The man has gold under his knee, and I cut off my entire leg, not even a piece of copper!
36. Every time I see a couple, I will sing that song, "Happy breaking up, I wish you happiness".
37. The old man can't hit children, he can't hit women, he can't hit men to hit the dead.
38. If the leader does not give me a pay raise next month, I will resign, and send him two more Chinese before he resigns, which will kill him.
39. My mother said that the prodigal son would not change his gold. Who gave me gold? I change.
40. Grandpa came from his grandson ...
41. You say that you are my friend, in fact, I know that animals are indeed human friends.
42. People who like me are good people. People who don't like me are bad people. No one hates me.
43. Lying is a man's privilege, being cheated is a woman's patent ...
44. Let me kneel and wash the board, kneeling electric heater can't stand it!
45. "Czech Slovakia"! My name is JACK, and my wife always complains about me like that.
46. Each person issued a badge in high school. Before I came to check, the head teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, everyone put on their bras and came to check ... The audience was silent ...
47. Don't go bad in debauchery, just pervert in silence.
48. Advertising is to tell others that his money can still be spent like this.
49. I asked her: "Have you ever made a boyfriend before?" She said: "I made it in high school." I asked knowingly: "Is it from Henan?" She was shocked: "Of course it was with a man!"
50. Male: The outer building of Qingshan Building outside the mountain is free in love and marriage. Female: I have to wait for a long time, and don't hurry to make money.
51. Friends fell in love for two months, and the net name changed to "blue". Recently I learned that blue literal translation into Chinese is "不 撸".
52. It is too late for you to fall in love, and the university should study with all its heart. . . . . . this problem. Should be resolved in junior high school.
53. The person who will marry me in the future: I don't know who you are in love with now. Don't waste your feelings, find some time for us to meet.
54. Today I heard an eight-year-old girl singing, two tigers, two tigers, falling in love, falling in love. Both are public, both are public, true metamorphosis, true metamorphosis.
55. Even if you fall again, you must fall in love, and talk about the world full of love!
56. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rivals.
57. I saw a Weibo saying whether you are willing to fall in love with yourself. I struggled for a long time and finally chose not to. Instantly I no longer blame those who abandoned me.
58. Come out, I have something to talk to you. "" What are you talking about? "" "
59. A woman returned from the supermarket and grumbled: "If the customer is always right, why not everything is free.
60. There are hundreds of flowers in spring, autumn in months, cool wind in summer, and snow in winter. If there is nothing to worry about, it is a good season on earth.
61. No one can predict the future, so someone always regrets it.
62. Only if it is irreplaceable will you not be fired, but if it is irreplaceable, you will not be promoted.
63. Spring is here and the greenness is full, so is he, with a green dress! md, even the hat is green!
64. People like spring winds and hate cold winds. In fact, cold winds are innocent, and the temperature is making them worse!
65. The computer is the anger's microphone, and it spreads our curses late at night!
66. I don't like the girl named Jenny, I like the one called Mani!
67. A beauty said: The person who held my hand for the first time was the gentleman who showed me palms.
68. It's not that you don't get out, but I'm not hard enough.
69. The teacher wanted to tell the classmates to give the applause to himself, but he accidentally said it was to give him a slap. After speaking, a classmate slapped him.
70. The test questions are so complicated, after all, they are not as complicated as me.
71. Who says water and fire are ruthless, when you are about to be drowned by saliva, you are angry.
72. The sweat on the eyebrows and the tears under the eyebrows must be the same.
73. Thoughts are like underwear. You must have them, but you cannot prove that you have them.
74. Why are you sitting there looking like an envelope without an address?
75. Gentleman revenge, no later than ten years, villain revenge, from morning to night.
76. Heaven will not fall into the trap, it will only fall into the trap.
77. White plus white is black because double negation is affirmation.
78. My feelings for you are like Lei Feng's pity for the poor.
79. Lonely is when someone is talking, nobody is listening, when someone is listening, you have nothing to say!
80. What is more headache than meeting one shrew is ... meeting two shrews at the same time.
81. I want to condense my life into a joke.
82. If it is not clear to the mentor, then make him messy!
83. You are not Huang Rong, you are only a locust, why do you want to Jing brother? You are shameless.
84. So shameless, so heartless and lungless, your weight should be very light, right?
85. When I saw a car on the road, there were six words on the back of the car.
86. I said to be a low-key person. But you have to give me applause and scream.
87. Women are China Merchants Bank and men are China Construction Bank.
88. Low-key sullen high-key, high-key signs of being beaten.
89. If you are a flower, the cow will not dare to shit in the future.
90. Women pretend to be called capital, men pretend to be abnormal.
91. Don't be afraid to drink dichlorvos, I am afraid to open the lid to have a surprise, enjoy an extra bottle.
92. I must show up in your household registration book. I can't be your husband or your little dad.
93. Handsome and car, that is chess, rich and have a house, that is the bank.
94. Brother smokes because it hurts the lungs and does not hurt.
95. Flowers are red, people are different from dogs.
96. Men get dumped, money problems, women get dumped, face problems, I get dumped, you have a fucking head problem.
97. No one has died in life since ancient times, which shit does not use paper.
98. Life is like poop, once it is washed away, it will not return.
99. People are not as beautiful as they are beautiful!
100. The future is bright, and there is no road.

Article Title: Funny sentences that make people laugh

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