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100 super funny quotations

Time: 2018-04-25 19 : 34Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times
1, salted fish turned over, or salted fish.
2. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.
3. Lie down where you fall.
4. A diamond will last forever, and one will go bankrupt!
5, people look better than live beautiful!
6. Close my eyes and I see my future ...
7. If you make trouble unreasonably, you must have a picture!
8. Don't talk to me about feelings, about feelings hurt money.
9. Fall down, get up and cry.
10. Let the future come, let the past pass.
11. As a typical failure, you are too successful.
12, sighing is the most wasteful time, crying is the most wasteful behavior.
13. Parents flirting with their children is called education; children flickering with their parents is deception;
14. Women like men who grow bad, not men who grow bad.
15, a good-faith lie: just to make a good excuse for your deception.
16. I can choose to give up, but I cannot give up.
17. Is it sure to be great when big? Dinosaurs are not extinct!
18. Our love died on this day, just to give each other a chance to be born again.
19, this is not intended to be different, how can you taste superior.
20. Never mention not because of forgetting, but because of remembering.
21. The journey of exploration is not to discover a new continent, but to cultivate a new perspective.
22. The killer of marriage is sometimes not affair, but time.
23. Heroes are sad about beauty. I am not a hero. Beauty lets me pass.
24. When the boss uses you, you are a talent, and when you do not use it, you become a layoff!
25. To get married is to wear a free cotton coat, which is not convenient to move, but it will be warm.
26. Not everyone can live with a low profile. The basis for being low profile is that they can be high profile at any time.
27. When you are angry for one minute, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.
28. Men's brains like women's hearts, but eyes like women's appearance.
29. Fate: You can only play if you have a life, and you are dead, what can you do?
30. Iron cocks will leave some rust. You are simply a stainless steel cock!
31. Smoke is not obedient, so we "smoke".
32. How far a person can go depends on who he is walking with; how good a person is depends on who is pointing him; how successful a person is depends on who he is with.
33. Hai Kuo relied on the fish to smash his drums.
34. He was pulled out before he had time to touch the flowers.
35. I'm not a prince, why do girls always meet me and think they should be princesses!
36. Life is like "breathing", "exhaling" is for exhaling, "inhaling" is for exhaling.
37. The road saw a roar, and he continued to move forward after the roar.
38. Happiness is a comparative level. You need to have something at the bottom to feel it.
39. Eight immortals cross the sea, find their mothers, eight immortals cross the sea, please fasten your seat belts.
40. When will the moon be up?
41. I came quietly and walked quietly, waving a dagger, without leaving a living mouth.
42. Don't blame the dog for a bun.
43. Why is there tears in my eyes? Because I pretend to be deep.
44. What's wrong with you? Speak up to make everyone happy.
45. The men in the bar are looking for excitement, while the women are mostly stimulated.
46, the hero does not ask the way out, the hooligan does not look at the age.
47. One sentence "Hold" is better than two sentences "I will give you".
48. When the pants lose their belts, they know what it means to be dependent.
49. In addition to love, in addition to love, there are radishes in other people's fields.
50. Don't say that other people's brains are sick. The premise of a sick brain is a brain.
51. The most contradictory place between couples is to imagine each other's future, but remember the other's past.
52. Life is sometimes like a computer.
53. He Jiu must be divided, Jiu Ji must be combined; drinking will be crazy, drinking every time you drink.
54. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Shakyamuni? Their hair was curled big and small.
55, women are made of water, men are made of mud, Li Junji and Li Yuchun are made of cement.
56. The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.
57. There are no impermeable walls and beams that cannot be hung.
58. In front of the Chinese team, the Thai team wearing a yellow jersey also has the style of the Brazilian team.
59. Raise two fingers and say to the classmates, "Classmates, the key to learning math is three words !! Do more exercises.
60. The grievances that can be expressed are not considered grievances; the lover that can be taken away is not counted as a lover.
61. When a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary and no independence day.
62. Everyone is original when they are born. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirated!
63. I thought that "stealth" others would not find me. It is useless. People like me are like fireflies in the dark no matter where they are. They are bright and outstanding.
64. Being busy is a kind of happiness, so that we have no time to experience pain; running is a kind of joy, letting us truly feel life; tiredness is a kind of enjoyment, leaving us no time to be empty.
65, life is nothing more than to make others laugh, and occasionally laugh at others.
66. Most people only do three things in their lifetime: self-deception, deception, and being deceived.
67. In general, longevity is just a wish, but it is actually very simple for people to live a hundred years, that is, you must grit your teeth and endure for 1,200 months ...
68. Be a temperament hooligan, be a satyr with taste, and be a knowledgeable illiterate!
69. My principle is: if a person does not offend me, I will not offend; if a person offends me, I will be angry ...
70. The intelligence test is to see how foolish it is.
71. Men appear resolute and resolute, women are resolute.
72. I installed a one-inch monitor to make my mistakes look smaller.
73. There is a saying: When you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; when you cry, you alone cry in the whole world.
74. There is no fish when water is clear, and invincible when people are low. The third party's most concerned topic this year is that third party liability insurance has been cancelled.
75. Although the famous flower has a master, I will loosen it! Rich man, difficult for no man!
76. I want to be emperor, afraid of Luo Yan; I want to be an official, I am afraid of many things; I want to eat, I am afraid to brush the pot;
77. When I was a kid, I often heard that someone committed suicide because of the stress of life. At that time I knew how to die, but I did n’t understand what the stress was. Now that I grow up, I understand what stress is, and I do n’t understand why so many people are still alive ... ...
78. Can't bear the child's enthusiasm for the wolf, the daughter-in-law for the hooligan, the renewal for the collection ...
79. I've degraded. I can't swim until now. You must know that before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer.
80. We are all passing people, but fortunately we did not knock each other down!
81. Men are tired, so they knock on their backs; men are sad, so they want to wash their hair; men are bitter, so they go to gamble; men are busy, so they often go to the wrong bed.
82. A man should thank the woman who was with him when he was in his 20s, because 20 is the lowest point of a man's life, no money, no career, and 20, it is the most brilliant season of a woman's life!
83. Women do not matter decent, decent because they are not seduced enough; men do not matter loyalty, loyalty is because the bargaining chip is too low ...
84, alcohol is not drunk. Everyone is drunk. Others are sober. I am drunk alone.
85. Those who are born are not afraid of death. Those who are afraid of death are not born, so no one should pretend to be fucking pretentious!
86. Human members, no matter how old they are, are always young in the face of money.
87. The wicked person said, "Besides that He is a wicked person, I will kill you!" The wicked person is never funny, and the wicked person must seize the time to do evil.
88. I once had a pair of wings, but I did n’t use it to soar in the sky, but I stewed it in a pot ...
89. It is not difficult for a person to make mistakes. The hard part is that he only makes mistakes in his life and never corrects them.
90. I thought I was very evil. I knew him and knew that there were almost no better people than me.
91. Can the eggs of the world unite to break the stone? !! So be realistic.
92. Makeup is a beauty before a woman is thirty, and makeup is a virtue after a woman is thirty! Brother I throw a brick first, even if there are jade smashed over.
93. The idea of stealing one person is plagiarism, and the idea of stealing many people is research.
94. In front of the beauty: there is danger to be rescued, and there is also danger to be rescued without danger.
95. Internship at the meteorological station finally knew how to calculate "the probability of precipitation tomorrow is 30%" ~ the director asked ten people in the office and asked: "please raise your hand if it agrees to rain tomorrow", but three people raised their hands hand……
96. I like to eat apples, and I like to eat slowly, because I'm afraid to chop ~ chop is just fine, but in the absence of a prince to save me, then the play can't be performed. So I still have to open my eyes, or what if I get kissed by a pig?
97, I am too pure, I am a little shameless pure!
98. Some people say that they will not have dysmenorrhea when they have a baby, so give birth to one!
99. If you look at the mirror and pay taxes, I am afraid that some women will go bankrupt.
100, hands are rough for women.

Article title: 100 funny idioms

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