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100 humorous and funny quotes

Time: 2018-04-25 19 : 34Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times

1. I smiled to the sky from the horizontal knife, and after I laughed, I went to sleep.


2. Time is too thin and the fingers are too wide.


3. Wait for the mother-in-law to deliver.


4, the man wants to divorce his wife after making money, the man wants to divorce his wife.


5. Our goal: to look at money and make money.


6. I am a passerby who you forget when you turn around. Why should you accompany you to the end of the world?


7, during the onset of intermittent depression, do not disturb people, do not look for acquaintances.


8. My mother doesn't need to worry about my studies. She holds a textbook in one hand and a lighter in one hand.


9, handsome has a fart! In the end it is not eaten by the pawn!


10. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will find me lacking in mind.


11. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I cannot stop when there is a road.


12, medicine Cheek trouble, I said grandson you said.


13. Don't count the stars with your IQ, count the moon!


14. When life humorously turned everything into black humor, I pushed the boat to turn myself into a highly educated hooligan.


15. The teacher said that you do n’t study well now. Finding the object in the future is to fill in the blank questions. Study now and find the object in the future.


16. When does the moon appear?


17, the hero does not ask the way out, the hooligan does not look at the age.


18. If there is no medical insurance or life insurance, don't see justice after dark ...


19, Qin Qi calligraphy and painting will not, washing and cooking too tired.


20. Saying money is evil and all are fishing; saying beauty is a curse and wanting; saying that the heights are too cold, all are crawling; saying that tobacco and alcohol hurt the body, they are not tempted; that heaven is the best, and they are not going!


21. Crowding buses is a comprehensive sport that includes a variety of sports and fitness programs including Sanda, Yoga, Judo, and balance beam.


22. As soon as the old woman's eyes opened, I knew you were a demon.


23. Put your hands in your pockets and no one loves them.


24. The road saw a roar, and he continued to move forward after the roar.


25. There are no impermeable walls and no beams that cannot be hung.


26. Hold the hand of the child and drag the child away! If the child doesn't leave, he will faint and continue to drag away!


27. Is it sure to be great when big? Dinosaurs are not extinct!


28. My mother asked me if I have a boyfriend, I said no, my mother said: This can be, I said: This is really not ...


29. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.


30, holding a kitchen knife in hand to cut the wires, sparks along the way with lightning.


31. Lei Feng did a good job without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in the diary.


32. I'm not RMB. How can everyone make me like me?


33. It is impossible to extricate yourself, besides teeth and love.


34. I am convinced that there will be a man who comes to this world because of my torture.


35. Parents flirting with their children is called education; children flickering with their parents is deception;


36. Don't talk to me about feelings, about feelings hurt money.


37. Love is devoted to the whole body, and then pull out again and again!


38. The most contradictory place between couples is to imagine each other's future, but remember the other's past.


39. He was pulled out before he had time to touch the flowers.


40. What are you unhappy about? Let it make everyone happy.


41. I like you so much. You will die if you like me.


42. Although you sprayed cologne on my body, I could still smell the smell of scum.


43, heroes are sad about beauty, I am not a hero, beauty makes me pass.


44. Men's brains like women's hearts, but eyes like women's appearance.


45. Women like men who grow bad, not men who grow bad.


46, salted fish turned over, or salted fish.


47. I'm not a prince. Why do girls always meet me and think they should be princesses.


48. Marriage is to wear a cotton coat for freedom. It is not convenient to move, but it will be warm.


49. Knowledge is like underpants, invisible but important.


50, people do not offend me, I do not offend; if anyone offends me, courtesy is three points; if someone offends me again, I still give a shot; if someone offends me, cut off the roots.


51. I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.


52, Ming Sao is easy to hide, secretly difficult to prevent.


53. The sky did not fall to me, and I still suffer my mind and trouble my bones.


54. Holding hands, Fang Zhizi is ugly, tears are streaming down, and I won't leave if I don't leave.


55. Red beans don't grow in the southern country, they grow on my face.


56. After studying for more than ten years, I still think that kindergarten is better!


57. My advantage is: I am handsome; but my disadvantage is: I am not obvious.


58. I was also a seed of infatuation, but it rained ... drowned.


59. Journey to the West tells us: all monsters with background are taken away, and anyone without background is killed by a stick.


60. I curse your buying instant noodles in your whole life without seasoning bags.


61. Little trees cannot be repaired, and children cannot be beaten.


62. It's not difficult to be single. The hard part is to deal with people who want to make you single.


63. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat, and watch other people's bones.


64. Life is like a dandelion.


65. Your looks are refreshing.


66. I think there are only two types of people in the world that can be attractive. One is the most beautiful one.


67. No matter how perfect her body is, in the eyes of those who do not love her, it is also a kind of demodulation.


68. Big women must not be without power for one day, and small women cannot be without money for one day!


69. It's not that I don't laugh, and the powder will fall as soon as I smile!


70, youth dedicated to the house, middle-aged dedicated to children.


71. I always linger between Bull A and Bull C.


72. Is the blank white?


73. I usually don't dump her on ugly girls, but you are an exception.


74. How can you lose weight without eating?


75. After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is better!


76. I even believe in advertisements.


77.Grandpa came from his grandson.


78. Don't ask me for anything, let alone me for something.


79. Women are anxious when men do not make money, and women regret when men make money.


80. When she was a child, her parents always believed that when the female college student changed, the ugly duckling would become a white swan! One day after growing up, Dad looked at her intently, and then said earnestly: "Child, you should study hard ..."


81. There are two ways to contaminate a place: garbage, or banknotes!


82. Whoever said that I was white, thin and beautiful, I would be a good friend of him.


83. House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer good men.


84. Don't be afraid of an enemy like a tiger, but a teammate like a pig!


85. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.


86. None of the girls had asked me the way in four years of college. Today, for the first time, I went to BMW to go back to my alma mater to do something. As a result, five girls came to ask for directions.


87. I will look for you in my next life, because besides me, you are the dumbest.


88, women have countless QQ numbers just to tease a man, men often use a QQ number to fill all kinds of women.


89. After seeing a few photos of my girlfriend I met in college, my wife kept boasting about my irritation, 555 ...


90. The little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams, and open their eyes to find that the world is full of gray donkeys. After distressing, they can only choose a strong one from the donkey herd, such a donkey It was named: affordable male.


91,56. Women will give up their careers for their emotions, while men will give up their emotions for their careers; women will be moved by men who give up their careers for their emotions, but they will stay with men who give up their emotions for their careers!


92. A woman is like a book on a bookshelf. Although you bought her, she was turned over by several men before you bought it.


93. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, his relationship with his mother-in-law is also good; no matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, her relationship with her mother-in-law is also bad.


94. I am afraid that some women will go bankrupt if they are taxed in the mirror.


95, people are not smart, but also learn to bald!


96. I would rather you hold other women thinking of me than you would hold me thinking of other women.


97. There are more on QQ. What penguins haven't seen?


98, as long as the hoe dance is good, then there is no corner to dig?


99. Roses are so cheap that you can send them to your wife.


100. Men having affair are reflected in more and more busy work, and women having affair are reflected in more and more salty dishes.


Article title: 100 humorous and funny quotes

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