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100 funny hilarious quotes

Time: 2018-04-25 19 : 34Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times
1. What else do you want to do if you have nowhere to go? Take the car directly.
2. I am a beast without clothes, I am a beast with clothes!
3. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!
4. God said that there should be light, and I said that I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.
5. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!
6. Since I became shit, no one has stepped on me.
7, the man has gold under his knee, I cut off my entire leg, not even finding a piece of copper!
8. After reading Chinese for 10 years, it is better to chat with QQ for one month.
9. If my friend can betray, each value is five dollars, I can also make a small fortune.
10. Mrs. Master, you will be the old one! … Long, long time later ... Master, you can spare the old man!
11. When I was young, I thought that I could save the whole world when I grew up, and when I grew up, I realized that the whole world could not save me.
12. It takes tens of thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human. It takes only one bottle of wine to change from a human to a monkey.
13. We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. It is often the small things that make us unhappy in life.
14, stupid man + stupid woman = married; stupid man + stupid woman = divorce; smart man + stupid woman = extramarital affairs; smart man + smart woman = romantic love.
15, women have countless QQ numbers just to tease a man, men often use a QQ number to fill all kinds of women.
16. If you ask your friends around words, if ten people and nine people do n’t know, then this is an opportunity. If ten people and nine people all know, it is an industry.
17. When dealing with people, listen more and talk less. That's why God gave us two mouths and one ear.
18, sister is not a Gua on the square, I can't tell you how much you like to hear.
19, I want to be a man like stinky tofu, smell stinking and smell incense, which is called connotation.
20. I don't know why people live, so I am still alive.
21. Someone said to you, my flush toilet uses mineral water, how do you respond? Lao Zi pissed out of the royal salute.
22. In the current weather, tap water can be used to make instant noodles directly.
23. What is Primary Three, he is just an individual at best.
24. Thank you, thank you Grandpa, thank your family, thank your ancestors for the eighteenth generation.
25. If the heart doesn't go with love, just say it for a night.
26. Women in the new era have gone to the hall, turned over the wall, fighted the third, and hit the hooligan, but they couldn't get into the kitchen.
27. Happiness is good. Don't dry it out, because it will dry out sooner or later, so it is low-key.
28, the hero does not ask the way out, the rogue does not look at the age!
29. I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and did not leave a living mouth.
30, life is really fun (harmony) mom, because life is old (harmony) mom play me.
31. I only believe in two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.
32. It's not that I don't want to be a lady, but that my life has forced my mother into a vixen ...
33. When I was particularly sleepy, the moral standards did not wake up. Teachers should be careful.
34. I always feel that the beds, laid too neatly, will be a little peaceful. Well, it's still a little messy and more energetic.
35. This daze is called deep if you do well. If you don't do it well, it is likely to fall asleep ...
36. When the night is quiet, I often ask myself whether it was right or wrong to decide to come to Earth.
37. When you have money, say that money is earned. When there is no money, it is said that money is saved.
38. I know you haven't counted me. In fact, I haven't thought of you in the eyes.
39. Prices are in line with Europe, house prices are in line with the moon, and wages are in line with Africa.
40. People who like me are good people. People who don't like me are bad people. No one hates me.
41. I went swimming in the lake in the afternoon and suddenly it rained. I quickly dived into the water to avoid the rain.
42. Summer is not good. When it ’s poor, you do n’t even have the northwest wind.
43. Don't despise me first, give you a number plate, line up first, and despise when you are.
44. I was young and aggressive, but unfortunately, now that youth is gone, there is only such an aggressive one.
45. I always thought you were special, but I never thought it was such a special scum.
46. As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.
47. As long as you are thin, everything is wild. If you are fat, everything is useless.
48. I am thinking of Dongpo meat now, but my emotions are salt and pepper ribs.
49. I want to be a gentle person, but gentleness has been devalued.
50. I finally find that I have a habit, if the fall is a habit.
51. The public looked for her thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looked back, the man still dismissed me.
52. Drag what you drag, and drag again, and take you to the South Pole to waltz with the penguins.
53. I like daylight because I can daydream in the daytime.
54. Do what you want to do. Otherwise, let the pigs talk nonsense.
55. Last night I took your promise to feed the dog. I found the dog dead the next morning.
56. Fang confidants have been stupid after being drunk.
57. Recently, there is a lot of pressure, and Wangwang Snowcake is more powerful than others ...
58. I always feel that the beds are too neatly laid out, which will mean a little peace of life. Well, it's still a little messy and more energetic.
59, pretend to force is only an instant, shameless is eternal!
60. There is an attitude called affectionate criminal, and a state called nothing to look for.
61. Before I met you, my world was black and white. After meeting you, wow, it was all black.
62. I wanted to eat my sorrow bite by bite, but unexpectedly I became fat.
63. Someone spit out as soon as it is tender, but I snot when I seduce it.
64. Moon old, have you broken my red rope?
65. In the northeast, there is a sport called the rolling calf.
66. There used to be a woman who wanted to transform me, but in the end she only disassembled my parts, but never installed it with me again ...
67. There are more and more monsters in this world, and fewer and fewer Tang monks.
68. Until I met you, I didn't know that dinosaurs could actually appear again.
69. Go up if you have difficulty, and go up if you have no difficulty.
70. Is anyone secretly in love with me? Don't be shy of you who love me secretly. Love should be spoken out loud.
71. In today's society, queues have to be lined up.
72, I really want to strangle myself now weak and soft-hearted!
73. First learn not to be angry, then learn to be angry.
74. The current children's paper is really rude, they don't talk to me during class.
75. The current flower heart is because the original heart was more attentive than anyone.
76. The woman now: Looking back, the weather is smooth. Looking ahead, the particles are not harvested.
77. I want to be as strong as a cactus, and I have to learn to fight bad people.
78, just want to turn beautifully, unexpectedly hit the wall gorgeously.
79. With your ability to understand, I explained that you don't necessarily understand, so you continue to be slim.
80. Sorry, I can't forget you, maybe you hurt me deeply, maybe I love you or even myself ... Remember, I love you.
81. Thank you to everyone who has accompanied me to the present, especially those who intend to stay with me and walk with me.
82, you see, so many people, such a big world, I met you, you also met me, how good.
83. Use a nonsense attitude to face a fucking life.
84. The so-called good students are just doing bad things without being discovered by the teacher.
85. When you meet someone you like, you must take the initiative to make a mean.
86. The hairdresser will never understand the concept of a short cut.
87. If it weren't for you, I would have turned over with you.
88. Fatty's voice: enjoyment in the mouth, want to lose weight in the heart.
89, I love you is the truth and adventure.
90. Men who are not good for women will be reborn as sanitary napkins in their next life!
91, all night and all night sitting in front of the computer in a wait attitude dazed.
92, no one will accompany you for a lifetime, so you have to adapt to loneliness; no one will help you for a lifetime, so you have to struggle.
93. I'll tell you a ghost story. School is about to start soon. The hard work is coming soon.
94. You will slowly discover that all the friends who have said to accompany you to the old are all dogs.
95. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing hard but I know I've been embarrassing myself.
96. The highest state of boredom, with a computer, a cell phone, and a TV.
97. More often than not, there are no watermelons, no beer and no loved people around us.
98. I always thought that I didn't feel sorry for anyone, but now I know that the thing I feel most sorry for is myself.
99. Brother is now mixed and can afford it. All he can put is chopsticks.
100. It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head.

Article title: 100 funny idioms

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