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100 humorous funny quotes

Time: 2018-04-25 19 : 34Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times
1. Once, I have always been very, very envious of my peers to have the best peers in the world.
2. A fat pigeon walked into the atrium from the balcony and left bravely after pulling a shit! Don't be obsessed with pigeons, pigeons are just a legend.
3. God closes a door for you, and always leaves a lot of unlocked phone numbers on the wall for you.
4. Why should you sleep for a long time before you die?
5. It is said that the weight is not more than 100, either flat chest or short.
6. Your IQ balance is insufficient, please recharge afterwards.
7. People today are heart-to-heart, but they are actually playing their brains.
8. By the end of the year, I found that only the age was earned.
9. How people die is annoying.
10, Grandpa generally does not walk, the general path is not unusual!
11. The math teacher led us to swim in the sea of questions, but she went ashore and we all drowned.
12. I have been abused thousands of times in winter, and I have a first love for the bed.
13. I figured it out and found that you were missing me.
14. Waking up is a pain of breathing. It struggles in each of my cells. It will hurt when someone wakes up. The alarm clock will hurt.
15. Don't look at the information! What are you looking at? See the chat effect!
16. Whoever talks to Lao Tzu about the "end of the world" topic, I will hit 110 without hesitation.
17, people are unlucky, drinking cold water will plug their teeth; water is more unlucky, even if drunk, they have to be trapped in their teeth.
18. Failure is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you still believe this sentence.
19.In fact, the moon is my twist
20. There are six eggs in the world. Chickens give birth to eggs, ducks give birth to duck eggs, and bombs will explode. They are looking at stupid people, angry people are stupid people, and those who do not forward are stupid people.
21. When I have money, I will buy two lollipops, one for me and one for you.
22. As soon as others boast of me, I worry that they will not boast enough.
23. Don't tell me to be old-fashioned, sister wants black hair to flutter for a lifetime ...
24. What if I suddenly have the urge to learn? Answer: Don't panic, just drink some water and lie down for a while.
25. I always feel that others are full after eating a few mouthfuls, and I can eat a few more mouthfuls when I am full ...
26. They said the internet was fake, and I laughed, as if the reality was real.
27. Teacher, if you ignore the bell again, we will ignore the bell.
28. Night gives you black eyes, but you use it to roll your eyes.
29. God, I will never call your grandfather again. You don't love my grandson at all.
30. That's right, you are the first step in genius!
31. Bed, let me go. Do n’t be like this, I have to go to school.
32. Seeing people who are not pleasing to my eyes adds a block to your hearts, I'm really comfortable.
33. Eat as much as I want; fat, as much as I want; don't have both, I'll go for it.
34. What age is it? There is no sense of hooligan.
35. There is an attitude called nonsense, that is to say, our lives are very tough, and no explanation is needed at all.
36. Those who can't get thin are always turbulent, and those who can't get fat are fearless.
37. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get water.
38. The prediction of the Maya is inaccurate. I don't have to do my homework if I can.
39. If I don't look good, I may be tired, I may be sick, and the biggest one is probably. hungry……
40. I never leave a name for good deeds. I only keep business cards.
41. Whenever I have enough to eat and drink, I will remember the serious thing of losing weight.
42. There are always a few friends who were so gentle when they first met, and after a few days they became ignorant of the mental illness released by that hospital.
43, the public sought him thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back at the man but at the store.
44. I received a text message yesterday and asked me to remit the money to an account of the Agricultural Bank of China. I replied, "Don't worry, I'll burn it for you right away!"
45. Gradually, gradually, some people always become cheap.
46. Where do I fall, where do I get up ... I always fall there, I suspect there is a pit there!
47. When I go home during the Chinese New Year holiday, I must kneel before entering the door: I'm sorry, mom, I still don't have a girlfriend.
48. Every time I face food, I warn myself: "Eating too much will die." But it turns out that I really don't fear death.
49. The frozen three feet is not a day's cold, and the lower abdomen is three days away.
50. The end of the world is approaching. If you have money, you can spend it quickly.
51. I'm not Renminbi, how can everyone make me like me.
52. Men's words are like the teeth of an old lady, how many are true.
53. When buying roasted sweet potatoes, ask your boss aloud what kind of stuffing it is.
54. Ask Cang Tianqing what it is, just ask people to add a pair of cotton pants.
55, the difference between me and Trensu is! My purity is low and Telunsu has high purity!
56. Since you are not allowed to fall in love, don't send out school uniforms, lest others say it's a couple outfit.
57. What is the head teacher? It's the one that ruins your friendship! Destroy your love again! Don't let go of your loved terrorists!
58. The alarm clock is the primary three of all sleeping goods and quilts, so I have to change everything.
59. I haven't weighed for half a year, because I have counted it.
60. I have two hobbies, static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over.
61, girl, turn on Bluetooth, and pass on some love to me.
62. Hope that Santa Claus can stuff the final exam answers into my socks on my bed on Christmas Eve.
63. It's not necessarily a virgin who yells for pain, but it must be a bitch that seduce a man.
64. If I don't hit you, you won't know I'm both civil and military.
65. The woman conquered the man with stockings, and the man conquered the bank with stockings.
66. Rogues are not terrible. They are afraid that they have culture.
67, the hero does not ask the way out, the hooligan does not look at the age!
68, sitting on the name of big tits, enjoy the treatment of mistress!
69. It is not necessarily the prince that rides the white horse, it may be the monk; the one with wings is not necessarily an angel, or it may be a birdman!
70. There are two ways to pollute a place: trash, or banknotes!
71. Can the eggs of the world unite to break the stone? !! So be realistic ...
72. Don't be afraid of tiger-like enemies, but fear of pig-like teammates!
73, women pretend to be called capital, men pretend to be abnormal.
74. As a typical failure, you are too successful.
75. According to the aesthetics of pigs, I am basically a handsome guy.
76. Life is sometimes like being raped by eunuchs-resistance is pain, not resistance or pain!
77. Everyone said that I was ugly, in fact, I was just not obvious.
78. In order to cooperate with the completion of China's family planning work this year, I have decided not to contact with friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.
79. No money, no rights, or be nice to you, can you talk to me?
80. Brother smokes because it hurts the lungs and does not hurt.
81. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!
82. I look really creative and have courage to live!
83. My realistic life: Counting money to wake up naturally, sleep to hand cramps ...
84. If you buy a computer without broadband, it's like having a wine and meat ready but becoming a monk before eating.
85, the thoughts after breaking up are not called thoughts, they are called cheap.
86. I heard that women are like clothes, brothers are like hands and feet. In retrospect, I have been streaking naked for 20 years!
87. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way, and let them find them.
88. There is a very old legend that people who can see beautiful women on the campus of Beiyou will live forever ...
89. The lover that can be taken away is not a lover.
90. If the leader does not give me a pay raise next month, I will resign, and send him two more Chinese before he resigns, which will kill him.
91. If the pigs would fly, who would buy an airplane? Riding a pig to heaven would be fine.
92. My tie was not found again, did you not find the rag yesterday?
93. In Egypt, a man can marry four wives. How tired is that?
94, you still let me kneel and wash the board, kneeling electric heater can not stand it!
95. Even if I am a toad, I will never marry my toad.
96. Drinking a pound of white wine, I absolutely don't feel it, because drinking half a catty has already drunk.
97. Reading a newspaper in the toilet is equivalent to rubbing the buttocks after the stool is a process, otherwise it will not be completed.
98. If the son is not obedient, he can fight appropriately. Otherwise, the majesty of Lao Tzu will not be displayed. This is the case with the Taiwan issue.
99. My mother's birthday, it would be better to send two pieces of bones to cook the melatonin, at least for wine and food.
100. Grandpa came from his grandson.

Article title: 100 humorous funny quotes

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