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100 witty and classic quotes

Time: 2019-07-21 23 : 11Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times

1. Traditional men are very pure before marriage and start to mess around after they get married; modern men mess around before marriage and become honest after marriage.

2. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, he has a good relationship with his mother-in-law; no matter how well a woman has a relationship with her husband, her relationship with her mother-in-law is also bad.

3, women are anxious when men do not make money, women regret when men make money.

4. You can't get your shit out of one foot, so you can pull it clean!

5. The most embarrassing thing is to discuss salary with a few classmates. I thought they were talking about annual salary, but later I discovered that they were talking about monthly salary ...

6. I'm not afraid that a beautiful woman would treat me as a satyr, but an ugly woman would treat me as a hooligan.

7, people are not cruel, not stable! No harm, no standard! People are not bad, they die fast.

8. Let me kneel and wash the board. Kneeling electric heater can't stand it.

9. Goodness! My clothes are thin again.

10. Is the leave of the leaves due to the pursuit of the wind or the failure of the tree?

11, nonsense is the first sentence of interpersonal relationships.

12. The man entrusted his girlfriend to his buddies to take care of him. In the end, the girlfriend became his brother's wife and the buddies took care of it; the woman entrusted his boyfriend to his sister's care. As a result, the sisters became the boyfriend's wife and the sisters became Not done.

13. My tie was not found again, did you not find the rag yesterday?

14. None of the women participating in the beauty contest can find a good man, because good men are married, such as me.

15. I can't help but think of smoking when I think that the motherland is not unified ...

16. If I become emperor, I will be crowned Prince!

17. Roses are so cheap that they can be sent to my wife.

18. As long as the hoe dance is good, is there a corner to dig?

19. People are not smart and learn how to bald.

20. If you can't hold my heart, don't say I'm careless.

21. I am L'Oreal Paris. You deserve it.

22. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you tolerate my pretense?

23. You're not a cactus, why are you so strong?

24. Protect yourself and love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare you.

25. Women love two kinds of flowers. One is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible.

26. Kill the panda, I am the national treasure.

27. Don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

28. Fall down, get up and cry.

29. Low-key is the best show off.

30, Qingming Festival, buy a flower, and sacrifice the love that died.

31. I once walked past a person countless times, and my clothes were torn and no sparks came out.

32. Don't argue with a fool, otherwise others will not know who the fool is.

33. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get water.

34. Knowing that you are having a bad time, I am at ease.

35. The cigarette is lit, but the cigarette is lonely.

36. It's not that you don't laugh.

37. No matter how perfect your body is, in the eyes of those who do not love her, it is also a kind of demodulation.

38. Little trees cannot be repaired, and children cannot be beaten.

39. Accumulation over a long period of time may lead to an outbreak; and over time, it may cause a collapse.

40. Be respectful to the top, be prestigious to the bottom, and be conspicuous to the same level.

41. No matter how difficult it is, think of yourself as 250, no matter how difficult it is, think of yourself as Erpi face.

42. It was discovered at the top of the mountain that the wrong road and the right road were only a few steps away.

43. Optimists see opportunities in disasters, and pessimists see disasters in opportunities.

44. No money, no rights, or treat you better, can you talk to me?

45. Go to Google and go to Baidu.

46, Ning He understands a fight, do not talk to SB!

47. Big women must not be without power for one day, and small women cannot be without money for one day!

48. It's not that I don't laugh, and the powder will fall off as soon as I smile ---!

49. Youth is dedicated to the house and middle-aged to the children.

50. There are two ways to cheat: one is a cheat sheet copied on paper, which may be found, and the result is dropout; the other is a cheat sheet copied in the head, which cannot be found, and the result is a scholarship .

51. When she was a child, her parents always believed that the female college student would change and the ugly duckling would become a white swan! One day after growing up, Dad looked at her intently, and then said earnestly: "Child, you should study hard ..."

52. In high school, the class teacher often enlightened me and said, "There are so many beauties like crossing the river, you just need to weave the net!" After I was admitted to Tsinghua University, I wanted to use a monkey rubber band to play his glass ...

53. Anyone who is crazy kissing in front of the cafeteria, study room, and teaching building-cannot afford to open a room!

54. After graduation, there was no money to do, so he went to Massachusetts to dig for oil. It was really dug up later, and the oil quality was so good that no purification was needed! Two years later Mobil sued us, saying we dug his oil pipeline ...

55. After graduation, I will take a big job and earn 300,000 after the completion. Take a look at the drawings and build a 40-meter chimney. It ’s all covered. I ’ll take a look at them! Damn, the drawings are overwhelmed. They let me dig a well ...

56. None of the girls had asked me the way in four years of college. Today, I drove BMW to my alma mater for the first time. As a result, five girls came to ask for directions in a short time ...

57. I had the heart to the moon, but the moon shines.

58. I am the most normal person in a perverted person.

59. Is the blank white?

60. I usually don't dump her on ugly girls, but you are an exception.

61. There is no rehearsal in life, and it is broadcast live every day.

62. If the son is disobedient, he can fight appropriately. Otherwise, the majesty of Lao Tzu will not be displayed. This is the case with the Taiwan issue.

63. There is no cheapest, only cheaper.

64. There are two ways to contaminate a place: garbage, or banknotes!

65, I will not kill you.

66. The problems that money can solve are not problems.

67. After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is better!

68. I even believe in advertising.

69. In the next few decades, we will meet and be sent to the crematorium, all of which will be burned to ashes. You and me, no one knows anyone, will be sent to the countryside for fertilizer.

70, take a newspaper to the toilet, I am a scholar.

71. If I want to sweep the floor, I will never brush the bowl. If I want to brush the bowl, I will never sweep the floor. Do both? You treat me as an alien!

72. I will look for you in my next life, because besides me, you are the dumbest.

73. When arguing, the difference between men and women is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

74. Grandpa came from his grandson ...

75, women have countless QQ numbers just to tease a man, men often use a QQ number to fill all kinds of women ...

76. Don't be afraid of an enemy like a tiger, but a teammate like a pig!

77. The bank said, "This is in line with international practice." The service said, "We need to consider China's national conditions."

78. Don't ask me for anything, let alone me for something.

79. Angels fly because they think of themselves very lightly ...

80. Embracing is a weird thing, obviously so close, but we can't see each other's faces.

81. House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer good men ...

82. How to give MM a memorable birthday? First burst her out, and then send in the most expensive real estate permit in Guangzhou to guarantee both memorable and pleasant surprises!

83, my wife after watching a few photos of my girlfriend in college, and kept boasting about my irritation, 555 ...

84. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Xizhou pottery. I went to the "Jianbao" column for evaluation yesterday, and the expert said seriously, "Where is this from Xizhou? This is last week!"

85. The most unbearable business-the brand reads: "Demolition, sell for money!" I gave her 5 pieces of a down jacket and she didn't sell it, it was too deceptive to consumers!

86. When he was young, he was not sensible and often pulled mm for shopping, but it hurt a lot of mm; now he does n’t pull it, and he did n’t expect to hurt a lot ...

87, handsome has a fart! In the end it is not eaten by the pawn!

88. No one knows what just happened, I'm used to covering everything with a smile ...

89. In the days when there is no woman, I am happy to make fun of men ...

90. Women will give up their careers for their emotions, while men will give up their emotions for their careers; women will be moved by men who give up their careers for their emotions, but will stay with men who give up their emotions for their careers!

91. A woman is like a book on a bookshelf. Although you bought her, she was turned over by several men before you bought it. Excerpt from: Inspirational quotes www.yuluju.com

92. Now it seems that the movies that IQ 30 can understand are the most popular, and 80% of those who like these movies like to watch Korean dramas!

93. I would rather you hold other women thinking of me than you would hold me thinking of other women.

94. There are more on QQ. What penguins haven't seen?

95. Laying cocks, fighting chickens in cocks.

96. Either be alive or die.

97. Men read PhD because of low IQ, women read PhD because of low EQ.

98. Burning incense is not necessarily a monk, it may be a panda!

99. Whoever said that I was white, thin, and beautiful ~ I would make good friends with him.

100, people are not smart, but also learn to bald!

Article title: 100 quotations of witty wisdom

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