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100 short humorous classic quotes

Time: 2019-01-07 21 : 14Source : Quotations Daquan Click: Times

1. Don't be afraid of tiger-like enemies, but fear of pig-like teammates.

2. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

3. The mouse carried the knife and looked for cats all over the street.

4, as long as the effort is deep, shit is also serious.

5. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I did n’t even drink the northwest wind ...

6. Who runs the fastest in China? It is Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang). Because Cao Cao Cao Cao arrived.

7. As far as your thoughts go, how far you go.

8. Only when there are long queues at the train station can you really realize that you are a "legacy of the dragon."

9. A lover eventually becomes a family member.

10. In the spring, a group of wild geese are flying northward, and they are arranged in a B-shape and a T-shape in a while.

11. Where do you fall, just lie down.

12. Find out the reason from yourself first if something goes wrong, don't blame the earth for not having constipation.

13. The donkey was overthrown.

14, the highest state of eating buffet: help the wall in, help the wall out.

15. Although I didn't look very handsome, when I was young, some people praised that my nostril on the left was an idol.

16. No money, no rights, or be nice to you, can you talk to me?

17. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

18. Women must treat themselves better. Once exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband, and beat your baby!

19. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face ...

20. Grandpa came from his grandson ...

21. God, did you let summer and winter cohabit? !! Give birth to this ghost weather!

22, the birds are big and have any woods!

23. Not afraid of tiger-like enemies, but fear of pig-like teammates.

24. I ran desperately, but couldn't shake the sadness that I followed closely ...

25. Humans are the best companions for dogs.

26. I can't find my favorite umbrella, I would rather get wet.

27. The higher you fly, the smaller it becomes in the eyes of those who cannot fly.

28, the first is best not to meet, so you can not fall in love, the second best not to know each other, so you can not fall in love.

29, do not do boring things, the difficulty of life.

30. Carry a big banner against the wind and write two big characters on it: Good man! !!

31. Some things are beyond our control and we have to control ourselves.

32. Prefer loneliness rather than wronged like.

33. Catwalk goes to society!

34. The brother's previous emotional life was also quite messy.

35. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a pottery pot from the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to the "Jianbao" column for evaluation yesterday, and the expert said seriously, "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is last week!"

36. Yu said, "I keep my eyes open all the time to stay away from you." Shui said, "I keep flowing all day long to surround you and hold you tightly." The pot said: "All His mother is getting familiar with so much nonsense. "

37. The Tang monk traveled west to meet a banshee, watching her breasts and buttocks, so she wanted to intercourse, and the banshee exclaimed: Elder! Little girl may have inconvenience during menstruation! Tang monk listened and joined his hands together: Amitabha, the poor monk is coming to learn from the scriptures!

38. Sit back and think about yourself. You can't talk about people and people. You can suffer if you are an aristocrat. It is not foolish to be willing to suffer.

39. How much love can come! !!

40. It has never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

41, the prison does not fall, I do not learn well!

42. I want to let the world know that I am low-key!

43. Who is infatuated like me?

44. The difference between me and the lunatic is that I am not crazy!

45. There are pens, dreams, liver and gallbladder, and they are also crazy and gentle.

46. Youth is only once, youth cannot come again. Therefore, there must be no contraindications and subversion of the whole world-to be completely funny, to be powerful in destruction, to get patents out of trouble, to pretend to be stunted, and to rely on your talents to look at your fate.

47. Releasing the unresolvable burden, retreating the unreversible path, enduring unbearable tears, and chasing the untraceable future.

48. If I die before waking up, I ask God to take my soul ...

49. When the spider web ruthlessly sealed my hearth, when the smoke of ashes sighed the sorrow of poverty, I still stubbornly flattened the disappointed ashes, and wrote with beautiful snowflakes: Believe in the future.

50. Perhaps after a fierce struggle in life, I died more peacefully than that lake. Then go to my inscription on the graveyard and it still says: Love life.

51. The illusory dreams of the future floated from the burning cigarettes, and the blue clouds were the dawn of struggling for hope. But now this plume of smoke has become a sorrow in my heart, and it has become a deep rainy cloud.

52. Let's just forget her, the beggar can't find the warmth in the world, I clearly see the future, wandering is the goddess of destiny.

53. If you have affection in the crowd, please pass it on!

54. The fireworks blooming in the night sky at the same time, I can see the beautiful moments of each other, but I can't brighten your life ...

55. Men who pretend to be forced are most likely to be moved, because they are pretended to even move.

56, if people are bored, snot bubble can be used to play.

57. After seeing me, you will suddenly find that the original is handsome, you can also be so specific!

58. Those women who participated in the beauty pageant couldn't find good men, because good men were married, such as me.

59. If the leader does not give me a pay raise next month, I will resign, and send him two more Chinese before he resigns, which will kill him.

60. If the pigs would fly, who would buy an airplane? Riding a pig to heaven would be fine.

61. My tie was not found again, did you not find the rag yesterday?

62. In Egypt, a man can marry four wives. How tired is that?

63, you still let me kneel and wash the board, kneeling electric heater can not stand it!

64. Even if I am a toad, I will never marry my toad.

65. Life is sometimes like being raped by eunuchs-resistance is pain, not resistance or pain!

66. Don't mess with me, otherwise I will make you die very rhythmically.

67. Not every sentence is sorry, it can be exchanged.

68. If I become emperor, I will be crowned Prince!

69. The only way to achieve happiness is to cherish what you have and forget what you don't have.

70. The tongue lives longer than the teeth, and the software lasts longer than the hardware.

71. Protect yourself and love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to be scary.

72. Flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but belong to cow dung.

73. In the world, it is difficult to extricate yourself, besides teeth, there is love.

74. It was a good idea to get married on August 8, 2008.

75. Watching TV in bed is worse than going to bed while watching TV.

76. Give me a fulcrum. I pushed my neighbor's kid's car into the ditch, so that he would honk when he saw me.

77. I will look for you in my next life, because besides me, you are the dumbest.

78. Don't blame the dog for following a bun!

79. If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

80. The tongue lives longer than the teeth, and the software lasts longer than the hardware.

81. Playing with emotions? I will make you cry very rhythmically.

82. When I hear a name and think of something, the city is quiet and trembling.

83. If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

84. The direction of the headwind is more suitable for soaring. I am not afraid of being blocked by 10,000 people, but I am afraid of surrendering myself.

85. A person's life is like shit, sometimes you have worked very hard, but it is just a fart.

86. The longer I have contact with people, the more I like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people!

87. Marriage is like a labyrinth, and those who cover it have lost their own way.

88. It's easy to drive, I'm afraid there are new people.

89. This book has no intention of being different.

90. A sturdy life requires no explanation.

91. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don't know which one I am.

92. People who have traveled all over the Qinglou are not old, please use Huiren Shenbao.

93. Grandpa came from his grandson. Excerpt from: Quotations www.yuluju.com

94. Pigs have a pig's mind, and everyone has a mind. If the pig has someone's mind, then it is not a pig-it is the Eight Commandments.

95. If you buy a computer without broadband, it's like having a wine and meat ready but becoming a monk before eating.

96. I wo n’t bend over when I drop banknotes in the sky, because the sky wo n’t even drop pies, let alone the banknotes.

97. It's better to buy 10 cigarettes for me than to go to a nightclub.

98. In fact, I am a genius, but it is a pity that jealousy is the talent!

99. Occasionally, you will feel cool when you are silent, but you will be miserable when you are silent.

100. When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle and a machine gun.

Article Title: 100 Short and Humorous Classic Quotes

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